The Ugly Cry is Not the Best Way to Make Friends.

I’ve been looking forward to today for many weeks. Today was the day that I got to go to the first “Side by Side” event. Side by Side is a group of Christian women who happen to have spouses in the medical field. Here’s what it’s all about:

Life as a medical wife can sometimes be difficult. Many women struggle with resentment, exhaustion, loneliness and isolation. They’ve often been uprooted from their families and moved away from home, in order for their husband to build his career. For those who have children, they often feel like a single mom, with almost all of the child rearing responsibility falling on them.

That’s where Side by Side steps in. We believe there is something unique about the support other medical wives can offer each other. We offer women a place where people understand what they are going through, where they find friends and surrogate family members, and where they find help and companionship.

Sounds like the perfect place for me, eh? I think so too! I’m so excited about getting totally involved in every aspect of the group and hopefully helping other women in the next few years while I’m here in Columbus and then starting my own Side By Side group when Ryan is an Attending Physician… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

So here’s where the story gets interesting.

At today’s get-together there were 25-30 women who were all there for the same reasons as me! Needing a support system so we can be better supporters of our husbands during their medical training. A bunch of them have kids too, and there are weekly bible studies and events, like my MOPS group was, but with all medical wives. I got this picture from their website. Look at all those kids!

Well, as one of the leaders was talking to us about how she would love us to consider her a surrogate mom during this time when we are away from our families, something inside of me broke. I totally lost my marbles in front of everyone who I was hoping would be my new friends…

This wasn’t just a couple of pretty little tear drops in the corner of my eye, no. This was a full-fledged, face in my hands, shoulders heaving, ugly cry. I knew my face as red and blotchy, but I decided to look up anyway because I wanted to try to let everyone know that I was just really happy… but then, at that very moment I got super sweaty… like, my whole entire body sweated all at once.

Basically, I could not have made a more memorable first impression. Unfortunately, it was not the impression I hoped to leave with all of my new friends. I am now the “unstable, emotional one who can’t hold it together and apparently is not doing very well as a doctor’s wife and really needs a friend” person in the group.

Hopefully in this case everyone will get to know me eventually and I can try to re-do my first impression.

In related news, I just called my doctor from Grand Rapids and asked her to prescribe me a different birth control… the one I’m on is apparently making me insane.


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