Rubyisms

IMG_8155Ruby is four and a half, loves her preschool teachers and is under the unfortunate assumption that if she squeezes cottage cheese, ranch dressing comes out. She could play in the bitter cold and snow for hours after everyone else has perished from frostbite on their internal organs. I think she’ll do just fine growing up in Michigan.IMG_6158

Here are a few funny things she’s said lately. I keep a list going on my phone because I want to have a word-for-word record of exactly how she says things. Hope you smile as much as I did as I was transferring my list into this post.

  • “When I’m a mom, can you give me directions to Toys R Us? Because I don’t know how to get there.”
  • At dinner one night, “Clara just nails ranch.” Yes Ruby, yes she does.
  • As soon as we get home from wherever we go each morning, she immediately strips off her clothes and puts on her princess dress. And “princesses do NOT wear socks mom!” no matter how cold the Polar Vortex is making our house.
  • “Penny Penny” has been her horse for years. A couple of weeks ago she renamed him “Torlight Sparkle” and only rides him side-saddle now.
    IMG_8430
  • “A somersault takes you places you haven’t been before!”
  • She saw a commercial and told me, “You need to get Charlie some headphones so he can rock too.”
  • “Mom, let’s play a guessing game. What am I about to say?” I never win at this game.
  • “Mommy, where do magicians sleep when its nighttime?”
  • She counted to 188 this morning, but she skipped 31-99. I figured she’d do the same thing once she got to 130, but then she kept going 131, 132, 133 all the way to 188 and stopped. They must teach her things at preschool… or maybe it’s the iPad? It’s certainly not me.IMG_7744
  • One of the things we are working on is doing whatever the preschool teachers have planned instead of telling the teachers what the class should do each day. It’s been difficult for her. “But mom, we just didn’t make bracelets today!”
  • “I just can’t wait to grow up and read sentences!”
  • “Mom! Clara thinks termites are good for your body! UGH!!!”
  • “Mom, is Charlie a human?”IMG_6189
  • One thing that has helped me discipline Ruby lately is simply asking her “who’s in charge?” and helping her listen to and obey whoever is in charge. This is great when Ryan and I go on dates and I tell her “Caitlin the babysitter is in charge tonight.” or “Your teachers are in charge so you need to do whatever they say.” The other day on the way to church she told me, “Mom, you can do whatever you want today. I’m putting you in charge.” This is her twisted way of feeling like she’s in charge of who’s in charge.
  • “That good smell is just blocking my view.” From her car seat the new air freshener in the van was hanging in front of the Garmin. I had no idea she was looking at the map while we drive places. ha!
  • At the mall play place one day she was perching herself on top of all the planets and crazily peering down at kids below. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing, but after a while she came over and told me, “Mom, I saw two boys and I was watching over them because I am an angel!”
  • After preschool one day she said, “My friend Ryosei is Japanese. His family was made in Japan!”IMG_8281
  • Ruby is very much aware of what her siblings shouldn’t be doing. “Clara! Stop rubbing your string cheese all over the table!”
  • “You mean Heaven will be more beautiful than our house? But where will the mermaids be? What what will I wear in Heaven? Where can I swim? Can I bring some of my legos to Heaven? Mama, now lets talk about something else.
  • “Mom, Clara thinks termites are good for your body!”
  • “Look at me mommy! I look like a pickle!!”
  • “Mom, I just can’t handle my sister! Things are just not going my way today.”IMG_8299
  • The “Post Officer” is the person behind the desk at the post office.
  • Every time we drive somewhere, “Put your seat buckles on. Daddy, are your lights on?”
  • A “hanger” is anything you hold onto. The banister on the stairs, the handle on the stroller, my hair… etc.
  • “But 4th grade is for big kids, like giants.”
  • She has been praying out loud at night and it’s my favorite thing. “Thank you Jesus for all the things and everyone in the world and all the animals you have made and I just love what you have done. And I always will love what you have done here and I love you more than anything in the world. Thank you Jesus. I love you. Amen.IMG_8243
  • “Mom! Charlie put his own food in his mouth! He’s such a big magician!”
  • “I bet Charlie will know his name when he grows up!” She loves her Charlie Boy so much.

Speaking of Charlie, 9 times out of 10 when we drop Ruby off at school, she introduces Charlie to her teachers Mrs. Bailey and Mrs. Jacobson, “Would you like to meet my brother Charlie? He’s right here!” She also introduces us to all the new friends she makes at the mall play place every time we go there. Every few minutes she brings a new kid over to where I am sitting and she says, “I made another new friend named _____. This is my brother Charlie and this is my mom. Okay! Bye!” she says as she runs back into the mayhem.

IMG_5593Ruby Dawn is genuine and friendly and delightful. I’m so thankful I get to be her mommy and pray everyday that she’ll keep those qualities as she grows up.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Rubyisms

  1. These are my favorite posts. I loved the Claraisms as well. I love the somersault one, counting to 188 with the omission of a major chunk in the middle, and that good smell was blocking her view. Whenever I read these, I think about how much fun Ruby and Clare would have together.

  2. Priceless!! Funny, funny stuff Amber. My idea, in light of recently planning Andrew’s high school grad party, is for you to somehow incorporate these tidbits into her party. Maybe hang these in conversation bubbles around the room. Seems far away, but BELIEVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY time surely flies. I had saved Andrew’s artwork since Kindergarten and hung it around for his party. People loved looking at it. Rubyisms are, and always will be, crowd pleasers!! They will be so fun to look back on as you celebrate her!

    …Ok, I just re-read this and I know it seems premature to think on these things, but I still think it’s a good idea 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s