Blogging Shenanigans

I thought the internet was endless, but my hopes were recently dashed to bits. Apparently I have blogged more than is humanly allowed. WordPress won’t let me add any new pictures until I pay them for more space or delete pictures from previous posts. I’m not happy with either of those options, so I just wanted you to know why I’ve been missing from the blogosphere for the last couple of weeks. Hoping to figure out a solution soon. Until then, if anyone has advice, I’d love to hear it.

(If I could, this is where I’d insert a photo of me making a sad face… )

(…and this is where I’d insert a picture of Ryan holding up a beautiful salmon he caught while fishing in Lake Michigan. It has nothing to do with this post, but I was so excited about his fish I can’t wait to tell you all about it.)

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A Level 10 Situation

You wouldn’t believe the level 10 poo explosion situation I just lived through.

Around here, we have a ranking system based on number of baby wipes required per diaper change. A level 1 = 1 baby wipe required. Level 2 = 2 baby wipes… you get the idea. A level 10 is beyond cleaning with baby wipes and requires a bathtub to properly remedy the situation.

Amazingly, all three of my children have coordinated their pooping schedules so that I am “needed” by all of them at the same time. Charlie is only 3 weeks old, but he is just as guilty as the other 2.

After lunch today I turned on “Doc McStuffins” to occupy the girls for 30 minutes so I could change and feed Charlie before putting the girls down for naps. Ruby and Clara LOVE the show and sing along with all the Doc McStuffins songs. They were happily singing when I left the room.

As I was putting Charlie’s clean diaper on, he decided to dirty it before I could snap his onesie back on. Right at that moment, I heard Clara’s little feet running toward me and she says, “I let my poop come out!” (her words) so I said, “Yay! Good job!” and as she turned to run back into the living room I noticed that her entire shirt up to the nape of her neck was covered in poo. “CLARA!! STOP! DO NOT GO IN THE LIVINGROOM!”

Then I realize she just came from the livingroom…

I decided to leave Charlie in his bed since his poo was contained within his diaper and grabbed Clara before she made it back onto the couch, which is when I noticed that she must have been sitting on the couch when the level 10 situation happened. My eyes followed the trail of poo across the entire cushion and down over the edge where Clara slid off the couch to come tell me her good news.

I told Clara to stand perfectly still with her hands in the air in the kitchen, grabbed an entire pack of Clorox wipes, a roll of paper towel, some 409 and a grocery bag to quickly deal with the poo in the living room and then carried Clara up to the bathtub while the sound of Charlie’s cries got more and more furious. He knew he had been abandoned.

Clara was happy to be in the tub and I was happy to have survived the level 10 situation. Just as I was thinking about how happy I was, Ryan called to tell me that the oil change we took our van in for had turned into 4 new tires as well… $$$! and then Ruby came running upstairs with poo all over the side of her shirt and told me “Clara’s poop is so sticky mom!”

I must have missed a spot in the living room.

I stripped off Ruby’s clothes, threw her in the tub too and within 6 minutes had both girls clean, re-clothed and ready for naps. FINALLY I could tend to poor Charlie’s dirty diaper (a level 2, FYI).

I kid you not, as I was googling “how to clean poop off a couch“, I heard Ruby’s voice from the bathroom, “Mommy, I pooped! I need help wiping!”

Seriously folks. This is my life. Shenanigans.

…still pregnant

Since this blog is all about shenanigans, I figured I might as well tell you a little story about the time (last Wednesday night) when I went into (what I was certain was for real) labor, called Patrice, our emergency contact to come to our house in the middle of the night to watch our girls, paged Ryan (who was on call in the office upstairs at our house), called my parents (who began a 5-hour drive to Columbus at 4am), and went to the hospital to have this baby.

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Well, long story short, upon arrival at the hospital, they got me all checked in, got the monitors on me and began tracking my contractions and the baby’s heart rate. After about an hour, they came in the room and told me to walk for about an hour to see if it would help me progress. So Ryan and I walked up and down every hall on every floor of the hospital multiple times. Ryan was starving, but the cafeteria didn’t open until 7am, so I snapped this pic of him contemplating the steak sandwich from the vending machine. After some deliberation, he decided against the inevitable gastronomic distress.

After walking myself to exhaustion, I hadn’t progressed and my contractions had slowed quite a bit. The worst part (for me) is the fact that I’ve birthed 2 other children, so I KNOW what it feels like to be in labor, and if I wasn’t TRULY in labor, I certainly wouldn’t have woken everyone up in the middle of the night!

Thursday morning they sent me home from the hospital still pregnant. Ryan showered and went to work, which confused his co-workers who had received an email that we had our baby… as you know, we did not. (I was still having regular contractions pretty much all day) my parents, the girls and I walked all around the neighborhood, then later that day walked to the park, where I walked circles around the park while my mom and dad played with Ruby and Clara. I just knew I’d be back at the hospital in no time having this baby for real! IMG_2178 IMG_2174

Friday morning I woke up still pregnant, so we decided to head to the pool at our apartment complex where I could float around weightless in the deep end while my parents played with Ruby and Clara.IMG_2198

Saturday morning I woke up still pregnant, so my dad drove back to Granger to be there for the all-church service at the St. Joe County Fair while Ryan, Mom and I took the girls to the zoo.IMG_2216IMG_2212

Sunday morning I woke up still pregnant, so Ryan and I left the girls with my mom and ran a bunch of errands, had lunch together (where I enjoyed an amazing strawberry shake), went to Cabela’s, then went to a dinner party with all of Ryan’s GI Fellow friends downtown. IMG_2227

This morning I woke up still pregnant, Ryan went to work (today is the 1st day of his FINAL YEAR of Fellowship!), my dad is planning to drive back this way sometime today or tomorrow and pretty much I’m just seriously looking forward to getting induced Wednesday morning at 5am.

IMG_2223Its been amazing having my parents here to help me chase Ruby and Clara around. I know that eventually I’ll have our little boy in my arms and I know God has a great plan. I’ve never prayed for more patience in my life!

Talk about shenanigans. I can’t believe I’ve made it this long with my 3rd baby who seems to be the size of Paul Bunyon. That’s the news. My next blog post will include pictures of a baby boy! Yahoo!

Until then, I’ll be here …still pregnant.IMG_2094

Mailman Shenanigans

Our mail delivery man is not my friend. I don’t know why it’s been so difficult for me to like him – but I truly has been a challenge since we moved to CBus.

photo courtesy of usps.com

In retrospect, I really loved our mail lady in GR. She would stroll down our street, chatting it up with her friends on her cell phone ear piece. She waved and smiled when she saw us, she helped me learn the names of my neighbors and was always so kind and caring about the mail she was delivering. I miss you wonderful, hard-working, nice mail lady who liked your job!

It all started when our current mailman continually delivered the old tenant’s mail even though it had been forwarded. I know this is more of the post office’s issue than the mailman’s issue… but for 6 months I was still getting mail for our landlord every single day… even though I talked to the people at the post office, even though I wrote the mailman a nice note about how they don’t live here anymore and it would be great if he could stop putting their mail in our box, even though our landlord followed all the protocol to get her mail forwarded. I kid you not, I got a letter for her THIS WEEK! We’ve lived here for almost a year. shenanigans.Then it got worse. If anyone’s car was parked anywhere within 10 feet of our mailbox he would simply zoom his truck right past our box without stopping! SERIOUSLY! He wouldn’t step out of his truck or even slow down to attempt to drive close enough to put it in the box! I would watch him drive by, then have to run down the street to catch him at the neighbor’s house. I would be friendly and say things like, “Oops, you missed us again! Sorry about that.” and smile.

Then it got worse! HE STOPPED CLOSING OUR MAILBOX ONCE HE DELIVERED THE MAIL! WHAT?!?! I don’t even understand what is going on here. How hard can it be to just flip the lid closed… the lid that YOU opened. The lid that would prevent the rain from pouring in on my pottery barn catalog!

SHENANIGANS! I just wish I could get a new mailman and start all over. What would you do if you were me?